Archive for September, 2006

I love our church community

Published at September 27, 2006 in Uncategorized. 5 Comments

Last night was AMAZING!! We had church as we always do on a Tuesday night; nine of us sharing food, wine and conversation. Normally we talk about music, film or that day’s headlines. Occasionally we get deep about Jesus, church and Christianity. Last night was one of those conversations; we spoke about deconstructing our religiosity and really questioning our belief and where we are in it. We talked about how good it felt to not be so sure of ourselves in our belief. How our uncertainty really gave God room to move in our lives, really show us his grace, support and provision. It was amazing!!

I have to admit during most of the conversation I was installing drivers (it was my ministry for the evening and I very much enjoyed it !!

Just being there listening in on “the church” my brother and sisters in Christ digging deep was truly a gift and I love THIS idea of church. My husband and I for a long time have been over the idea of sitting in a room full of people we’d like to talk to but can’t because the focus was on the pulpit. We’ve always wanted to be apart of a community comfortable just working through this thing called Christianity. To many times we’ve found ourselves in an institutional setting where everyone had the answers.

Anne Lamott said it best “The opposite of faith is not doubt, it’s certainty”

Amazing Grace, who’s got more

Published at September 20, 2006 in Uncategorized. 5 Comments

I’m glad my husband has enough grace for the both of us. After reading my post this morning he emailed me about how navigating uncomfortable situations regarding how we hope to have and raise our children may continue to be questioned or seen as absurd. I’m glad he pulled me down from the roof. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself not having someone to sympathize with my angst. After it all I felt sorry for the woman who meant well, I probably scared her more than her advice scared me. Who ever you are lady with the apple sized hemorrhoid I apologize. Next time just try to remember how scared you were when you were pregnant AND how hormonal.

Looks like Jason and I are going to skip the whole birth center gig and go 100% hippie holistic and have Jason deliver our first born in the desert at the Burning Man festival.

YOU’RE NOT HELPING !!

Published at September 20, 2006 in Uncategorized. 4 Comments
WARNING: The following is an angry post!!I didn’t plan on my first post after a 6 month hiatus to be an angry one but I figure I’ve been pretty tame and am due for a little bit of a hormonal rage. So here goes…

I was in the grocery store this morning and a woman, a stranger, someone I’ve never met and probably wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the soccer ball belly I so happily carry (and when I say happily I mean it, I have no complaints, NO REALLY NONE!!) At 6:45am this woman took it upon her self to give me this advice “Honey, you should be careful eating those bananas during your pregnancy, they’ll really constipate you.” It didn’t stop there, BEFORE I could even respond regarding leg cramps and potassium and how my midwife and doctor had recommended them BEFORE I could stop her she went on. As if nothing I could say would sway her ALL FUCKING KNOWING ATTITUDE TOWARDS MY PREGNANCY AND MY BODY !! She went on “about how awful her pregnancies where and how crazy her boys were and oh boy are you in for a treat” and then it happened she said the three little words that sent me into a, I don’t really care what I say moment. Now obviously you’re wondering what three little words could set a newly pregnant, having her first child ALREADY SCARED woman off. Here they are “JUST YOU WAIT!!” I couldn’t hold back, it’s one thing to have my family and friends pull this shit but unfortunately for this poor woman she had no idea what she was in for. After all she was only giving me HELPFUL ADVICE. Well let’s just say I gave her some helpful advice back. This is what I said:

“Honestly miss I have waited, THREE years my husband and I tired and now that I’m pregnant I’m very happy and very excited to become a parent. I’m sorry your pregnancies were so awful and you found parenting difficult but YOU’RE NOT HELPING!! You’re not helping my fears of birth nor my fears of being a good mother. Now my advice to you is to not give advice, unless it’s about how HELPFUL your diaper genie was OR how HELPFUL Dr. Sears was.” I walked out of the store Bananas in one hand and two boxes of Total cereal in the other.

I believe I was accurate in my understanding of what advice is. I mean after all I THINK she was trying to be helpful. But my goodness woman how is fear going to help me in the least bit! Now this is neither the first nor the last time this has happened. I knew it must be an epidemic when most of the pregnancy and birth books I have warned me about unsolicited advice. They all say to calming state that you are under the care of a practioner and that you’re grateful for the advice. HA! I’ve got 68 days left of this pregnancy and although I’m not out to save the world I hope to let a few “VETERANS” know how their horrific birth stories are scaring the shit out of newbie moms and “IT’S NOT HELPING”. Not to mention this type (if you can call it advice at all) is alienating them from new moms. Who wants to hear about vacuums, forceps and hemorrhoids the size of apples? Give me a break! It may make YOU feel better to vent but “YOU’RE NOT HELPING!!”

This concludes my rant. To all the newbie moms out there, the only advice I have for you…drink plenty of water, find someone who will listen and don’t hesitate to tell someone their advice is scaring you NOT helping you!